Back in 2014, when we had our first little boy, there was no question in our mind that I was going to quit work, and stay home with him, full-time.
This was really important to me, and to my husband. We didn’t really have the finances for me to be able to stay home, but the Lord always provides, and He did.
But one thing people forget to tell you is that being at home can get very lonely. Like, really, really, REALLY lonely.
Back then, we also lived an hour away from most of our friends, and 7+ hours away from family. As much as I loved being home with my baby all the time, I also hated being home with my baby boy. All. The. Time. Trips to the grocery store was literally the highlight of my week because it gave me a reason to get out of the house.
You see I’m an extrovert. Now, that doesn’t mean I just enjoy talking to people; my husband enjoys talking to people and he’s an introvert.
No, being an extrovert means I get my energy from being around other people. So you’d think that being a SAHM would literally be the worst job in the world for me. And back then, it was.
Now, just to clarify, I’m not saying being at stay-at-home parent is easy for introverts. No way! In fact, I’d almost argue that maybe it’s even harder if you’re an introvert because introverts get their energy from being by themselves. If there is one thing moms know, it’s that you’re NEVER by yourself when you have kids.
Fast forward to today. I’m still a SAHM. My little boy (who is also an extrovert, btw) is now 4, and of course, we’ve added his twin siblings. Now that I have my small band of circus monkeys, you can bet that I hardly leave the house these days, not even for groceries (God bless Walmart’s grocery pick up).
So where do I get my energy to keep up with the little humans, while also not going completely bonkers?
1. Get involved
My husbands a pastor, so maybe this sounds like a shameless plug, but I promise it’s not. If you attend church regularly, consider serving! You get more out of building community with other people than the time you sacrifice.
I’ve met so many incredible people just by serving at my church. And there’s a place for everyone to serve; ask about greeting at the door, or serving coffee, ask about childcare opportunists, serving in the youth group, helping people find seats in the auditorium or a spot in the parking lot. Do you love to host people in your home? Consider being hosting a small group (you don’t even have to lead, sometimes people just need a place to GO).
By getting yourself involved, you open yourself up to low-key friend-making, and adult communication!
2. Get your kids involved
When we brought home the twins, my husband and I agreed that we wanted our older son to have something to be excited about. We signed him up for soccer and he started about a week after the babies were here.
Some people thought we were nuts, especially with having two newborns at home. Who needed the headache of trying to get a kid to weekly soccer practice, and spending our Saturday’s on the soccer field?
Well, maybe we were a little nuts, but listen; not only did it give my extroverted son an outlet to meet new kids his age, but this is also an opportunity for YOU to make friends!
Think about it; where there are kids, there are moms. And moms love having mom-friends, especially ones who have kids the same age as your kids!
3. Call your mother
When I had my first, I didn’t want advice from anyone. Not even my own mom (who is a darn good mom too, btw!). I’m not sure what it is about being a first time mom that makes us question everything our mothers did, but I’ll tell you what, it’s probably the most idiotic thing a mom can do.
I call my mom on a fairly regular basis, these days. During the kids nap, or sometimes first thing in the morning because my 4 year old wants to talk to his Nana.
Who understands you better as a mom, than the mom that raised you? Call your mother. Especially if you’re a first time mom.
4. Make Time For your Spouse
As the only other adult in the house, this really is a need. Not just to keep your marriage strong, which is also incredibly important, but as an extrovert, I need daily adult communication.
After we get the kids to bed, my husband and I usually have anywhere from a half-hour to an hour of one-on-one time, before
We usually turn on a show. This time serves as a refreshing time for both of us, even though he’s an introvert and I’m an extrovert. He gets to relax in the quiet, I get to be near another adult (yup. Sometimes that’s all it takes).
I hope these tips help keep you sane. Loneliness can be a real battle, especially if you’re like me and very confined to your house because of your littles.