We all have pet peeves, right? One of my big ones are the people who walk IN the OUT door at Walmart. Especially when they give YOU the dirty look for being in THEIR way. I mean, really Susan?? Come on.. I could write a whole other post JUST on these people.
But this post isn’t about those people.
It’s about our generation of parents. Now, I think there is a LOT we do right. I think we are more knowledgeable about the importance of health and eating well. I think that we are more open and accepting of the differences is each others children, from special-needs to gender-biases. I also think that we are rocking the “look cute AND be a mom” thing! So long, elastic-waisted mom jeans.
But there are several phrases that I’ve heard come out of the mouths of my generation of parents, and they just rub me the wrong way. Much like Susan giving me the stink eye because I cut her off by trying to grab a buggy by the entrance of Walmart. WALK AROUND, SUSAN!
These are the phrases and why I think they need to not be said:
1. “(My child) is my best friend”
Now, this one has been around for a long time. I know it’s just a phrase parents say in order to communicate how close they are with their children, but am I the only one who thinks it’s weird? I’m not sure what the appeal of it is. I mean, my 4 year old is cool and all, but Momma needs more conversation than just answering “why” for the 10th time about the composition of a fish stick…
A “friend” is someone you confide in. Someone who can meet you on the same emotional level. Someone who has the same level of give-and-take as what you do in the relationship. My children are none of those things.
2. “It’s just a phase”
One day at church, Emerson came out of the childcare with a huge, and I mean HUGE, bite mark on his arm. I mean, I could see every outline of every tooth for a WEEK. The parents response to the workers, “He’s just going through a biting phase”… So does that mean that there is no repercussions for the fact that your kid BIT my kid?? This is just one example..
Now, I know kids DO go through stages. When we brought Elliot and Evie Mae home from the hospital, Emerson went through a whiny, melt-down stage (as expected). It was, in deed, a stage. BUT (this is where the difference lies), that didn’t mean we didn’t address the melt-downs and the whines.
I reminded Emerson that melt-downs and whines are not how we get what we want. He needed to calm down in his room and come out when he was ready to be nice. Or stand in a corner until he’s ready to say sorry.
It’s when parents tell you, “it’s a phase” and do nothing about said phase. It’s pretending the bad behavior will go away on it’s own.
3. (She/He) is the boss in our house
Ummm… What? Your 3-year-old daughter is the boss in your house? The first time I heard this, I thought it was a joke. But the thing about jokes is, they are usually only funny because they have a layer of truth to them.
I sure hope that if you have ever said this, you have never said it IN FRONT of your child. It’s one thing to joke about a strong-willed child to your friends, it’s a totally different ball game to empower your strong-willed child to become even more strong-willed.
Maybe just remember that actually, you’re the boss..
4. (He/She) is just acting like their mommy/daddy
In particular, I’m referring to when parents say this to condone bad behavior, like fighting or being overly sassy. Yes, maybe dad was rough and tough as a kid, but that doesn’t make it okay for little Johnny to throw toys at baby sister. Or maybe mom had a lot of sass as a child, but that’s not okay for little Susie to scream at you because you told her no to the toy in Target.
Maybe they are just like their parents, but bad behavior is still bad behavior.
5. “I can’t adult today”
Okay. This is the ONE. I HATE this one. If you only pick one of these phrases to stop saying, PLEASE pick this one.
Our generation has started saying this and it was cute when we were all in college and didn’t want to get up for our 7:35a class. But. If you’re a parent now, and you’re using this phrase, you need to stop. NOW.
You’re a mommy. Or a Daddy. Someone has to ‘adult’ in the house. Someone has to pay the bills. Someone has to feed the littles. Someone HAS to. You can’t ‘adult’ today? Then who is going to?
Stop. Stop saying it. Little human beings depend on you ‘adulating’ every day.